found on google search

While I worked at JCPenney Friday night, I was covering someone's break in home fashions when a married couple in their late-50's came up to the counter to buy a rug.  They were nice, normal customers - and definitely refreshing from the complete whacks that come in and blame the problems of the world on me while I'm ringing up their St. John's Bay trouser socks...

Anyway, this couple buying the rug was pleasantly surprised when I told them the rug was less expensive than they originally thought.  As I completed their transaction and was handing the wife their bag, she said to me, "I think that's worth a million bucks," and she handed me a one million dollar bill.  At first I thought I was getting a really big tip, but when I mentally confirmed that million dollar bills don't really exist (at least ones with monetary value), I just awkwardly smiled at them, humoring their obvious need to feel satisfied in what I thought was them just being weird.

As the couple walked away, I turned the bill around and noticed small print surrounding the outside edge.  It read,

         "The million-dollar question: Will you go to Heaven?  Here's a quick test.  Have you ever told a lie, stolen anything, or used God's name in vain?  Jesus said, "Whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart."  Have you looked with lust?  Will you be guilty on Judgement Day?  If you have done those things, God sees you as a lying, thieving, blasphemous, adulterer-at-heart.  The Bible warns that if you are guilty you will end up in Hell.  That's not God's will.  He sent His Son to suffer and die on the cross for you.  Jesus took your punishment upon Himself: "God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life."  Then He rose from the dead and defeated death.  Please, repent (turn from sin) today and trust in Jesus, and God will grant you everlasting life.  Then read your Bible daily and obey it."

How lovely.  My first reaction to this as a Christian is --- God, I hate when people do this.

Just when I thought I had my share of a little weekend gospel, I went to get into my car Saturday night in the mall parking lot, and I was greeted by a business card stuck into the crease of my window that said,

        "WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF YOUR LIFE?  DO YOU KNOW GOD'S WILL FOR YOUR LIFE?  IS JESUS CHRIST YOUR SAVIOR? WHEN YOU DIE, WOULD YOU HAVE INSURANCE FOR YOUR SOUL?

Okay, twice in one weekend is just too much.  After receiving these spiritual messages, I thought to myself, did I look like a heathen to that couple who handed me that million dollar bill?  Does my messy car look like one an atheist would drive?  I have a Jesus fish on my car for heaven's sake!  What made these people judge me as a person in need?

These religious encounters made me start thinking about where "my walk" is with God - a horribly overused phrase that has as little meaning anymore as someone calling themself a Christian. 

It seems that in our country you’re either one of two extremes: an outspoken evangelical or socially secular.  Outspoken evangelicals look at everyone else - whether Christian, atheist, etc. - as socially secular, for if you are indeed religious then you have to tell everyone in the world, and if you aren't talking, then you must be godless.  On the other hand, if a “secular” person hears someone say they're a Christian, the first stereotype placed on them is outspoken evangelical – even though that person might not have set foot in a church for years. 

Where’s the middle ground?  I’ve been wrongly stereotyped as an outspoken evangelic too many times – and I don’t want to be placed in a category with Christians who feel the way to “get people to Jesus” is a public flashing: spiritual style.  I’d like a label that fits my lifestyle and personal attitude towards God and society.

Of course my search prompted me to visit my favorite handy website, dictionary.com:

evangelical:
1. belonging to or designating the Christian churches that emphasize the teachings and authority of the Scriptures, esp. of the New Testament, in opposition to the institutional authority of the church itself, and that stress as paramount the tenet that salvation is achieved by personal conversion to faith in the atonement of Christ.
2. marked by ardent or zealous enthusiasm for a cause.

Theist: the belief in one God as the creator and ruler of the universe, without rejection of revelation

But I was bothered when I came to find two different definitions for one same word:

Christian:
1. a person who believe in Jesus Christ
2. a person who exemplifies in his or her life the teachings of Christ

I’ve solved the problem with what’s wrong in our society!!! When you meet someone and they say they’re a Christian, you kind of picture this little glowing halo atop their head with that heavenly music quietly playing in the background.   And because you are a Christian, you must obey everything the Bible says…but then as soon as that person does one thing “wrong”, then the halo bursts into flames and becomes two red devil ears.  Then you feel they’re a hypocrite because they said they’re a Christian, yet they are doing these “bad” things…

If a person calls themself a Christian, there should be no stereotype placed on that person of how they should act, what they should and shouldn’t do.  As clearly stated from the place where we seek definitions for words used in our society, to be a Christian, all you have to do is believe in Jesus Christ.  Does that mean that people are in the clear for any sinful actions desired?  Not exactly, but if those “sinful acts” do not involve any illegal activity or put others in danger, then we need to leave them alone…you’re allowed to be a Christian and not be a golden child. 

The case most Christians (and mainly evangelicals) make to justify their judgements on sinners is the call to hold eachother accountable.  I hold myself and my friends accountable.  People who I know -  their background, their life, their M.O. - that I can personally see that me saying something to them will be valued as help instead of assumed as judgement from a stranger...and when I have no business budding in in the first place.

No one asked you to judge them (and actually God told you not to judge them), but you choose to do it any – go ahead, make that person feel guilty for lying, or not going to church, or having sex before marriage….see what direction you drive them --- I can tell you it won’t be towards the church or towards God…

I know this from personal experience – I very much used to be the type of person I’m complaining about: striving for a sinless life, pointing out others’ sins while pretty much just hiding my own without repent, and all the while trying to spread the gospel to as many as I could, whether they wanted it or not. 

But I saw a difference in me versus the people that were doing this with me: I never thought it was right.  I never had this “okay” feeling about it – it was always uneasiness.  But I did it anyway because I thought that was what I had to do in order for God’s will to be carried out.  Being by myself for the first time this summer allowed me to start thinking for myself without the influence of any congregation or group of Christian people.  And what I discovered was my personal actions were not done to please God – they were to please others in my circle that would think of me positively.  And that’s when I realized I could finally cut this crap and stop trying both manipulate and down-grade others’ lives to make my own seem better.

I believe people such as evangelicals that are attempting (or claiming to attempt) to live a “Christ-centered life” need to start practicing what they preach: do not judge (Matthew 7:1).  What? – You’ve never heard that before?  That’s probably because Christians are the ones doing the judging and use the words of God and the Bible to throw people into a guilt trip for how horribly they are living their lives.  Yet, if we used more verses like Matthew 7:1, a lot more acceptance would be going on in the world.  That is one of my favorite Bible passages, because it tells me that I’m not wrong in letting other people live a life that I may not totally understand or comprehend – but I know that God wants us to coexist together peacefully and without ridicule. 

"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. 

 "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.  - Matthew 7:1-5

Many God-fearing Christians like to use the Bible to claim that we should hate sinners, such as liars, thieves, sluts, and adulterors, for their behavior and that they should die a horrible death.  Or they use the Bible to make themselves feel higher than everyone else.  OR they feel that because they’ve walked around a mall and passed out spiritual literature that they are doing God’s will.  It may be a combination of me feeling ridiculous and not wanting to annoy people, but I don’t see my job as a Christian to be bombarding strangers with Jesus take-home packets.  I don’t see my job as a Christian to convert another godless creature to add another mark to the “saved” column on my church’s list of “how many more heathens we saved compared to other churches”. 

These are things I feel as a Christian I need to do or remember:

- survive life without stepping on too many toes purposefully

- to know that to be a “good Christian” I don’t have to work in a church – I can coexist as a Christian in our secular society

- to know that I don’t have to let people walk all over me

- to be able to swear or throw something if I’m angry (and know it’s okay to be angry)

- to know that messing up is okay, regardless of anyone on earth telling me it’s not

- to build strong relationships with my friends – and not having to be everyone’s friend – that will allow an opportunity to share my faith with the people I know, trust, and love --- not strangers who aren’t seeking my guidance

We are called a Christian nation, and even though we are one country, under God, indivisible, Christians do not all fit the same mode.  It’s just like politics – Edwards is a democrat who is against gay marriage.  Giuliani is a republican that is pro-choice.   I happen to be a conservative republican who feels our society needs to do something to give homosexuals the same rights as heterosexuals (I say something because I honestly don’t know what that could entail…I don’t think we’ve figured it out…yet).  And even though there are people that disagree with Edwards, Giuliani, me, you, and pretty much every person alive, the person disagreeing with you probably is grouped in the same societal category as you, whether that category involves religion, politics, age, gender, etc. 

And there’s really nothing you can do to change that.  Just like I can’t change the fact that Evangelicals, Catholics, Presbyterians, Baptists, and people that haven’t gone to church in 20 years are all called Christians as one body when they all have very different views and rituals.  But that’s something we just have to live with. 

So I guess I’m not getting a label that fits me specifically after all.  Well, I take that back – I have one all to my own.  It’s Kelley Smith – it’s me.  I know the name’s pretty common, but I can assure you that I am not -- and God loves me just the way I am and that feels fantastic.

The important thing is not how you hold up in your congregation or in the spiritual responsibilities places upon you.  What’s important is how you hold yourself up in a society where no one person is the same.  Will you mess up?  Of course - everything you do is a mess up to someone or possibly to yourself.  But that doesn’t matter – nor does it matter if someone thinks you’re not a Christian – if you are, you are.  And if you're not, then you're not.  No one can define what that means to you, except you.